&& You thought your life was fucked up!!!

Mmmkay

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 04:54:10 GMT

Hm... so... I don't know. I'm bored. && Depressed... for some reason. Who knows? I don't.

Uhm.. yeah. lets see...I'm listening to Opeth again.
"Why cant you seeeee that I try... when every tear I shed... is for youuu" - Opeth "To Bid You Farewell"
It's a great song.

I'm talking to Dimaro right now. He fucking rules. I like him. Such an awesome guy. Yessir. :-D Uhmmm.. yeah..

I slept a lot today. I'm glad I did. I have this feeling I would've been depressed all day if I would've been awake. =/ it sucks. Who cares though.

ohwell.

i leave you all [[assuming that someone actually reads this]] with this survey thing to do.

GF BF app. o.o

Name:
Age:
Location:
Height:
Hair (color nd style):
Eyes:
Piercings/tattoos:

OTHER:
1. Where would we go on dates?
2. Who are three of your favorite bands/artists?
3. Do you drink/smoke??
4. Do you like the beach?
5. If so...would you go with me late at night?
6. Do you like movies?
7. If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night?
8. If you were to take me out to a movie would we watch the movie?
9. If not what would we be doing?
10. Do you play an instrument?
11. If so...what?
12. Would you call me right after we saw eachother to make sure i made it home alright?
13. How would you rate your hugs from 1-10?
14. Favorite body part on a gurl?
15. What would you say is the best thing about yourself?
16. Do you have any reps (ie: heartbreaker, player, slut)?
17. Would you give me kisses just because?

What Would You do if...
I cried:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I wanted to have sex with you:
I touched your ass:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got in a fight and you were there:
I got dumped:
I pissed you off:

What Do You Think Of My...
Personality:
Eyes:
Face:
Hair:
Clothes:
Voice:
Humor:
Choice of music:
Manners:
Friends:
Decisions:

Would You...
Be my friend:
Tell me the truth no matter what:
Buy me a birthday gift:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Go out at 4am to get me chocolate:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Loan me some cash:
Hold my hand:
Keep in touch:
Make me a snack:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:
Makeout with me:
Hold me in times of need:
Ditch me:
Use me:
ask me out:

Pressure me to do things:

Wouldn't mind if I didn't want to do more than makeout:

Wouldn't dump me for stupid reasons:
Date me:
Have sex with me:
Makeout with me whenever you had the chance:
Hold me and make my problems go away:

holyfuck

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 08:31:56 GMT

Wow. It's been A LONG TIME SINCE I WAS ON HERE.

Hmmm... Sooo.... I broke up with Rick. after almost 10 months. I love him but I need a BREAK. =/ Chyeah. Uhmm... so Yeah... I don't know what to say. I'm bored. Listening to Opeth. Talking to DIMARO. <3 he's fucking awesome. =D

Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....People I like::

Guys:
Dimaro. He's 19. && lives in Tennessee
Seth. He's turning 21 && lives in Oklahoma.
____. No one can know. He lives in __. Yeah. Try to guess that. =D

Girls:
Star. She's 14. && lives in the same town as me. She has a gf though =(
Alicia. I love her so much. <3 =) SNOOKUMS!!!

Chyeah. I'll update this later. Mmmkay?

Leave me comments, suckafish.

--Megan---

It's been awhile.

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 01:38:49 GMT

Wow. Lot's has gone on since December..

I found out John A is gay.
I'm no longer friends with that P.O.S John W. >_<
I never talk to Kendra anymore.. =(
Me and Zack broke up, and me and Rick are together. I've known him over 3 years. Yeah, internet thing. Bite me. He's 21. He's awesome, and I love him.
Lots of drama has been happening. But thats getting better. I got back into cutting alot, and now I'm stopping again because I need to. Not healthy. I see a psychologist now. She's a nice woman. I only go to school for 4th, 5th, and 6th period. Yeyah. Cool shit. We got an X-Box now, and I'm addicted to fable. It's an awesome game.
I think I like my ex, Jason, a little. Like, of course, I love him, but i think I like him again? Gr. Weird. Hm...My neice turned 3 yesterday, and today is my 15th birthday. =) BOOOORRRRIIIINNNNGGGG
I wish Rick and Jason were here. *sigh* I'm lonely.

Me and Rick have been together since December 22, 2004. And uhm, on January 31st I overdosed on my migraine pills, but I made myself throw up before it could be fatal. I took 12 instead of 2. I never told anyone in my family..

I don't want to eat... my stomach is killing me.. but I don't wanna eat.. I'm HUNGRY but I dont wanna eat. =X Gr. I dunno what i'll do.
Well, I'm gonna leave you with something I wrote while I was still cutting.

I'm losing this battle,
I'm losing the fight,
I've surrendered to this blade,
I cut every night.
With tears in my eyes,
And with blood on my skin,
I slice the razorblade deeply in.
I wear this happy mask,
To hide how I feel.
Don't bother to even ask,
These wounds will never heal.
I've got these blood streaks,
Running down my arms,
These cuts are so deep,
This is my self harm.
These tears won't ever fall from my eyes,
Instead the flow crimson from my flesh,
Silent cries.
Help me, Save me, Keep me from these ways,
Guide me, Force me, away from this blade.
My scarred arms,
My torn flesh,
My self harm...
With blood so fresh..
This is my life,
My worry and fears,
This is my pain,
In the form of crimson tears.

×Megan×

Two Months of News.......

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 22:16:00 GMT

Okay, uhm, I started public school, I am in love with this guy named John, me and him are best friends. Not kendra's John, but a different one. I have classes with him. He is the best. He doesnt like me like that though. Oh well. :) I still love him. uhm, on November 4th (my ex's birthday) I hooked up with this 17 year old who i've known since I was in 5th grade. He was acting like he liked me, and I thought he did, but he just wanted pussy, which he got.. sadly.. so i lost my virginity, and did alot with him, and I havent even talked to him since, and now he's supposedly going out with my "friend" (who also blabbed everything i did with Mike to someone who spread it around school like wildfire) and I knowhe's just using her for pussy and skauracon... and she wont listen to me and John. so, now she says she's cheating on him with someone, and she still wont break up with the asshole, Mike. *rolls eyes* And my family is moving into these apratments in silverdale, and it's like maybe 3/4 -1 1/2 miles from the mall, so I can go to the mall ANYTIME.. *mwuahahahahah* Anyway, I'm doing OK in school I guess..... Today I've been packing, and yeah...I guess thats it...

I love John!- my bestess guy friend!!
I Loooove Jason!!!!!!- The love of meh life!
I <3 Tye- he's coolio!

-×Megan×-

Crushed

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 22:45:48 GMT

I shall put in here what I have just said to Kendra.
My heart is slowly being crushed everyday. Soon, I fear I won't have a heart, not literally of course, I fear I won't feel anything but pain.. I'm in love with people who dont have feelings for me. Talking to Josh last night made me realize, I'm just like him in some ways, I feel as though my whole life has been ripped from me. Torn from my grasp and I can do nothing about it.. My life is slowly fading away.. There is nothing I can do about it. I wish I could be happy.. that's all I want.. is to be happy, but I don't know how anymore.. I feel as though I have no reason to be happy.. No reason...

Until Next Time,
Megan

First Entry

Sun, 15 Aug 2004 04:10:16 GMT

Okay. Kendra said I should get Live Journal, because it's better. I've had one of these before,and it frusterated the shit out of me because it has a difficult customization process. So anywho, I'm Megan. The owner of this lovely LJ. I shall be your host from now on. Enjoy reading!

Until Next Time,
Megan